Post Script....

Ran into The Punisher again today - wearing his "must be this tall to ride" shirt again - and I noticed two more things that tickled my funny bone this morning. First off, the little gym bag he always carries is a WWF bag, which makes total sense, but still adds a level to this mans character. The second was that he was wearing what smelled like very cheap cologne, again confirming his creepiness.

Another lovely Monday...

The Punisher

There’s a guy I see every single morning as I wait for the bus to whisk me off to work. He’s an interesting sort of fellow. Imagine a not so famous Arnold, who didn’t lift quite as many weights. Okay, got it? Then add a child molester mustache and you’ve got him. He wears essentially the same outfit everyday – A t-shirt, tucked into tight jeans, and black, steal toed boots. He also is always carrying a medium sized gym bag. Now the guy, by himself, is pretty entertaining because he walks around like a machine, never changing his ways. But it’s his choice in shirts that gets me. The first time I saw him he was wearing a Punisher shirt, which was fitting, because he very well could be an extreme comic book nerd – not that there’s anything wrong with that, just using the stereotype because it fits. A few days later he’s wearing an American Indian Support Group shirt, which was kind of weird, but okay, it’s just that. Then, yesterday morning, I see him again. This time, and keep in mind this guy looks like he’s atleast mid-forties, he’s wear a shirt with the following slogan: Must be this tall to ride. Um, and there’s a line about chest high on the shirt. I almost peed myself. It was all I could do not to burst into laughter. It kind of loses something in the retelling, or rather, without seeing this guy, but Christ was that some good shit.

Hopefully next time he’ll have a shirt telling everyone he’s giving free mammograms or something.

Anal Retention Is Retarded

Yes, it’s retarded. I hate it. It drives me up a wall. Me, I just let it all go. I just shit whenever and wherever I feel like, no matter what. Like the guy who, after washing his hands in the bathroom, has to grab the door handle with a paper towel. You’re a moron. I know, I know, you don’t want to get the germs of the person who didn’t wash their hands. But seriously, what do you think you’re going to get? You’re paranoid. But, you know what? Because I just grab the handle without sanitary concern for my hand, I have made my immune system stronger. Yours? Well, it’s not really used to anything but soap and paper towels. Mine? Fuck, it beats shit like shit right out of my system because it’s used to dealing with it. In other words, my immune system can beat up your immune system.

My immune system shot 5 bucks! How many did yours shoot!? Huh huh, pussy!