Lil' Greggy Rantington

“Wow, your presentation was awesome!”

“Really? I’d have given it a 6 of 10”

“No way, you rocked in there, it was really great”

God do I hate corporate back slapping. Especially at the middle management level. It’s just awful. Like watching all the kids who work at Target (no offense, but it’s a great example) pat each other on the back and say how great they all are. Face it. You’re in the middle. You’re not a top dog, you’re not important, your managers’ manager doesn’t know you or care about you. Just because you buy the most expensive clothes offered by your employer doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone. You make less than a garbage man. You’re the trash he should be taking out. Blowing smoke up each other’s asses does not mean shit. Flapping your face about how great you are just shows everyone else how fucking ignorant and stupid you are. Yeah, you work at a large, extremely conservative, corporation that provides all types of shit to tons of people across the country, but that doesn’t mean you’re better than me. It means that your title means more to you than it does to me. “I’m an Account Executive.” Great, you know what that means? It means that you’re a little more than a phone specialist but less than an Accountants assistant. Yeah, your job has a purpose, but when it comes right down to it, you’re a customer service agent, a client bitch so to speak. Yeah yeah, tell everyone how you “handle” the Tyco account! But what you should say is “I help Tyco read their statements.” Great, that’s what I do, except instead of Tyco, I’m talking to Judy McNamara, Steve Griznewski, and Randy McOldfuck. Same job, different clients and, unfortunately, different pay scales. Hey, so you’re a Buyer? Oh great, you look at deals on diapers and toilet paper then give that data to your boss and he/she makes a decision. Awesome, so you’re a glorified research assistant. Again, a necessary job, but not any more important than those poor undergrad research assistants who work in the Psychology department. Yeah, sorry to tell you, but that’s really all you are. I know, I know, you wear expensive clothes, but that doesn’t affect your position in the pecking order. You’re still at the bottom. Patting each other on the backs isn’t going to change that.

Yeah, I know, I’m sorry too.

A Culture Of Anger

As you all know, I'm a Twins fan. I love everything there is to love about the Twins, including my love for hating the White Sox. They're a bunch of jerk-wads. Well, that may not be true, but I have to say it because they're a hated rival. But I'm not the only one who is angered by the White Sox. Every other team in the AL is angered by them, primarily because they're the defending champs and they still guard the gate to the World Series. Every NL team is angered by them too because they embarassed the Astros last season. But I believe they even their own players are angered by them. The White Sox are a culture of anger. Their manager, Ozzie Guillen, epitomizes this. His homophobic comments and attack on a reporter is clear enough evidence to raise suspicion. But I have done more research into this theory and have come up with the following examples that further show that the White Sox are Anger-mongers.

Freddy Garcia, SP


He spent the first portion of his career as a Seattle Mariner and he was happy. But when he was traded to the White Sox, his happiness was drained completely, and now he is an angry old man who hates everything.

Bobby Jenks, RP


Notice how happy he looks in his ANAHEIM Angels hat. He was clearly enjoying life then. Now, after spending two seasons in the windy city, he knows nothing but anger.

A.J. Pierzynski, C


While playing for the Twins, A.J. was the happiest person on this side of Lew Ford. When he was traded to the Giants, he still had a shred of happiness in him. But, once he became a member of the White Sox, even a championship couldn't replace his ever-growing anger.

Jim Thome, DH


Even he understood what it meant to come play for the White Sox. He prepared himself well because he hasn't killed anyone yet, despite his raging anger.

But, look at what happens when players leave!

Magglio Ordonez, RF


Poor Magglio looks so scared in his Sox cap. He was too happy for the White Sox, so they dumped his ever-not angry ass into Detroit, trying to ruin his happiness by sending him to a bad team.

Aaron Rowand, CF


Even a smashed face and broken nose can't make himangry anymore. Not after spending a couple years in Chicago.

The White Sox are nothing but anger, fear, and unhapiness, bred into their athletes, making them the most anger inducing franchise in sports history. If you still don't believe me, here's one last item that should push you over the edge


Ozzie is so mad, he's choking himSELF!

I can only imagine that they're angry because they have to watch the Cubs soak up all the attention even though they're terrible. I can't blame them.