Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Lil' Greggy Rantington

“Wow, your presentation was awesome!”

“Really? I’d have given it a 6 of 10”

“No way, you rocked in there, it was really great”


God do I hate corporate back slapping. Especially at the middle management level. It’s just awful. Like watching all the kids who work at Target (no offense, but it’s a great example) pat each other on the back and say how great they all are. Face it. You’re in the middle. You’re not a top dog, you’re not important, your managers’ manager doesn’t know you or care about you. Just because you buy the most expensive clothes offered by your employer doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone. You make less than a garbage man. You’re the trash he should be taking out. Blowing smoke up each other’s asses does not mean shit. Flapping your face about how great you are just shows everyone else how fucking ignorant and stupid you are. Yeah, you work at a large, extremely conservative, corporation that provides all types of shit to tons of people across the country, but that doesn’t mean you’re better than me. It means that your title means more to you than it does to me. “I’m an Account Executive.” Great, you know what that means? It means that you’re a little more than a phone specialist but less than an Accountants assistant. Yeah, your job has a purpose, but when it comes right down to it, you’re a customer service agent, a client bitch so to speak. Yeah yeah, tell everyone how you “handle” the Tyco account! But what you should say is “I help Tyco read their statements.” Great, that’s what I do, except instead of Tyco, I’m talking to Judy McNamara, Steve Griznewski, and Randy McOldfuck. Same job, different clients and, unfortunately, different pay scales. Hey, so you’re a Buyer? Oh great, you look at deals on diapers and toilet paper then give that data to your boss and he/she makes a decision. Awesome, so you’re a glorified research assistant. Again, a necessary job, but not any more important than those poor undergrad research assistants who work in the Psychology department. Yeah, sorry to tell you, but that’s really all you are. I know, I know, you wear expensive clothes, but that doesn’t affect your position in the pecking order. You’re still at the bottom. Patting each other on the backs isn’t going to change that.

Yeah, I know, I’m sorry too.

1 comment:

Trip Darvez said...

Gold. In a town where your job means everything, I've come to simply tell people that I repair car radios. "Wow, how do you 'test' shows?" Does it really matter to you? Of course not. Just watch TV. Go back to bed.

I can only imagine seeing people who work for an "upscale" Holiday Plus. "I'm a coordinator for girl clothes." Oh, you make sure stores have enough T shirts with Hilary Duff on them? Say, that's a nice dress you're wearing, can another girl find that in your Cottage Grove location?